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When it comes to bodily maintenance, I was a typical guy, and, we all know, men aren’t known for good hygiene. Sure, I’d shower daily, brush my teeth, and gel my hair, but I’d never heard of exfoliation, and I lived simply by the motto: “doesn’t show, let it grow.” And, boy did I. My wedding night was spent looking for a needle in a haystack.
Look Good, Feel Good
For guys, there is often a pressure to “act (and dress) like men.” Women shave their legs, lotion, and do a myriad of other things while a man should be careful not to do too much personal maintenance lest he turns gay.
It’s ridiculous, really. Obviously, it’s good to take care of our bodies.
Despite our stupid machismo, there is truth to the idea, “look good, feel good.” And, if we are aspiring to be healthy men mentally and emotionally, then we need to start taking care of ourselves physically too. That might mean going on a diet, or parting ways with the gym shorts unless you’re working out. It might mean working out. Or, for you, it could mean buying clothes that actually fit, updating your wardrobe, or, heaven forbid, getting the dandruff shampoo. Whatever it is, you should invest in your personal hygiene and physical appearance, not for others but for yourself. Doing so will boost your confidence, freshen you up, and maybe even encourage you to interact with the world a little more.
What Am I Doing To Up My Personal Maintenance?
Lately, my area of focus has been on hair, and, no, not just don’t there. All my adult life, I’ve pretty much done the same thing with the strands on the ol’ noggin. The same cut pushed to the same side with whatever bottom-shelf gel was on sale. Eventually, however, I updated my cut, invested in a nicer gel, watched some YouTube videos on how to style, and started borrowing my wife’s hairdryer. I even bought some hairspray, and, get this, the bottle is pink (oh no, what does it mean?).
And, remember that needle in the haystack? With the encouragement of my wife, I’ve been trimming the holy trinity for years, but I eventually found myself ready to take things to the next level. With some more research, I found MANSCAPED, the “#1 in Men’s Below-The-Belt Grooming & Hygiene”–their words, not mine. I liked their masculine vibe and practical solutions so, to try it out, I invested in The Perfect Package. It included everything I needed and more (but I’ll get to that in a minute).
I was fortunate enough to enter into an affiliate marketing partnership with them, but, of course, I couldn’t promote a product until I’d tried it. And, while you might doubt my opinion now (because I get paid a small commission if you click through and make a purchase), I pray you will not because I literally took.a.razor.to.my.testicles. I could’ve lied about it and pushed the product anyway, but I didn’t.
Now that I have a featherless chicken in my pants, I can honestly say, I’m digging it. It’s amazing actually. Plus, to shave things down there wasn’t near as hard as I thought it might be, and the products included in the package made for a perfectly simple step-by-step process. It was convenient and easy, and I’m thrilled with the results.
So, whether you trim, shave or you’re simply ready to see your penis again, do it with MANSCAPED. Here’s how I did it.
MANSCAPED provides disposable Shaving Mats with the Perfect Package. To keep your bathroom free from a million tiny hairs, they recommend you lay it out on the floor and plant your feet just wider than your shoulders.
The custom newspaper made for simple clean-up and, while I didn’t read any of it, they claim its funny material.I had a cheap electric razor before, but it certainly wasn’t The Mower. These professional-grade personal clippers tear through the jungle with ease and its tri-length capabilities offer options and versatility.
I didn’t put any guard on The Mower for the main attraction; I put the shorter guard for my thighs, and I used the longest one to ease the transition from bare to the hair on my legs. I did my fair share of research before taking a blade to my cojones. One of the biggest debates among ball-shavers is whether a guy should use hot or cold water to rinse the rocks. You should try both for yourself and figure out what works best for you.
I found that cold water, while it tightens the skin and offers a closer shave, caused more nicks. And, though shaving with cold water didn’t hurt, the sight of blood near such precious cargo is enough to stop me from trying that again.
Warm water, on the other hand, made the sack more elastic-y and easier to stretch while softening the hair follicles (I don’t really know what that means). Razor burn seemed to be less of an issue, and there were no nicks.
That said, I’m in the hot water camp. I might not be getting the closest shave possible, but this way I can shave in the hot shower, and my manhood doesn’t look like it belongs to Edward Scissorhands. MANSCAPED’s high-quality double-edged safety razor is known as The Plow, and it is a beauty. Its classic silver shine alone enhances a typically…uh…humbling experience.
I tore Google to pieces trying to figure out what shaving cream to use, and the answer is none. Well, you can, but you should buy a shaving oil or a shaving butter–things that MANSCAPED, unfortunately, doesn’t offer.
After much contemplation, I shaved with no shaving cream (just in the shower under the hot water), and it worked great. I applied short, somewhat quick strokes against the grain, and stretched the skin as I went. MANSCAPED’s Crop Preserver is a “ball moisturizer and deodorant/alternative to aftershave.” This is one thing I never would have bought on my own, but I’m amazed by its effect. Just a tiny amount is enough to soothe the sack and refresh the nether regions post-shave.
The Crop Reviver is basically cologne for your junk (okay, sure, yes, please). Not only does it offer an amazing scent to polish things off down there, but it works as a spritzing refresher throughout the day if at any point you get the vibe your partner wants to roll them dice.
These two remedies don’t just feel good; they are good. MANSCAPED says this:
“Because MANSCAPED formulations like Crop Cleanser, Crop Preserver, and Crop Reviver all feature Active pH Control, you can be assured that your skin will be clean, pH balanced, and healthy. This means reduced bacteria, reduced scent, reduced inflammation, and a healthy, clear appearance. Now that’s what a refined gentleman like you needs!”
Ultimately, I had an extraordinary experience with MANSCAPED. These products make maintenance below-the-belt easy and enjoyable while boosting confidence both in and out of the bedroom. I feel cleaner, fresher and more polished than Mr. Clean’s forehead.
We can agree on this: a bush in office is so early 2000s. Trim or shave. Invest in yourself. Invest in personal hygiene. Start with MANSCAPED!
Here. Take this: Save 20% Sitewide at Manscaped.com When You Use Code: FAST20
Here are some pictures I took of the Perfect Package (I just now got that pun):