Having one kid makes you a baby daddy. Having two kids? That makes you a father.
Ok, there’s not really a difference, but parenthood somehow feels more real now that I’ve got both feet in the kiddie pool. It’s like, having two kids, makes me stand a little taller as I finally accept the fact that this is my life now. I’m a dad. A father.
But, making the jump from one kid to two was scary. Linds and I joked about how cute Isaiah was the day we conceived number two. As soon as we had a positive pregnancy test, he turned crazy, making us question why we ever thought we could handle another one.
Now that Shiloh is here, it’s been…honestly…kinda awesome. We’re only a week and a couple days in so I can’t get cocky. But, in our experience, the transition from one to two has been so much easier than it was from zero to one.
With Isaiah, our independence was blind-sided, hung by its toenails and beat like a pinata. That hurt. Not to mention I was in a very mentally precarious state, and we had no idea what we were doing.
With Shiloh (number 2), our independence was already pretty much dead, so she just kind of snuck into our lives, and pulled the plug.
So, as an encouragement to those dads considering letting the swimmers loose and rolling them dice for number two, here are a few things I’ve observed in my first week as a father.
There Really Is Enough Love To Go Around
Growing up, I always heard my parents had no favorites (wink, wink). “I love each of you,” they’d say. But, it wasn’t until I had my own second-born that I could begin to comprehend what that felt like.
Parents of one get nervous about having enough love to go around for a second, but, trust me, it’s there. And, it’s thrilling to love another flesh-of-your-flesh-and-bone-of-your-bone.
I Want To Parent The Same But Different
“Everybody is a genius,” Albert Einstein said. “But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”
There’s diversity in our children now which is exciting. Different personalities, talents, giftings, and aspirations. I don’t want to parent like a production line; I want to make the effort and take the time to meet each child where they’re at. I aspire to love each the same, just differently.
I’m Building My Family
With one, you mainly just have a tagalong in your normal life. Sure, you’ve got to get back for bedtime and make sure you have snacks wherever you go, but, in general, you can get away with living a life similar to the pre-parent era. Now that we have two, it’s not that we can’t go to breweries, go out to eat, or hang with friends (we still do), but I feel more empowered to focus on building our family.
I always thought I would rue this day, the one on which I’d become a family man, but if you had my kids, you’d do the same.