Mains Family Newsletter (And A Lady Gaga Impersonator)

My wife’s family releases a couple newsletters throughout the year. This is the latest one, and I thought I’d share. 

If you haven’t heard, we are having a girl!

I’m confident she’ll waft out of the womb like a gowned Lady Gaga for an emotional piano ballad. Little girls are born divas, right? (Or did Lindsey just learn how to be one over the years?)

We traded our dog in for a unicorn, armed Isaiah with a big brother black belt, and built a fortified fence to keep future suitors out.

In truth, we are ecstatic for a baby girl and we can’t believe Lindsey’s due date is only a few months away (May 31)! We are racing to finish the basement, move Isaiah into the guest room, prepare the nursery, and update our kitchen. If all that doesn’t beat rolling out the red carpet, I don’t know what will ever satisfy the princess.

What’s new with Isaiah? Well, he eats. A lot. We throw rotisserie chickens into his crib, ducking when he hurls the bones and covering our ears as he roars with an ire hungrier than his never-ending appetite. Not really, but the kid can pack it away. Still, he gets cuter every day. He loves spending time outside, going to the library, running around the house, reading books, and watching a pretty weird show called Little Baby Bum. Oh yeah, and he loves to eat.

Lindsey adores being the torn-up, uncomfortable, and back-busting vessel for a miracle (How does one convey sarcasm in the written word?). She is looking forward to having a daughter and enjoying her first work-free summer in almost a decade. The new baby will be rushed to a Lake Michigan beach quicker than a postnatal Lindsey can down a bottle of Rosé.

I am continuing to build a career as a freelance writer, author, and blogger which pretty much means I stay in my pajamas all day no matter how many Dorito crumbs get on them. Actually, it’s been quite a success. I’m a paid regular contributor to a variety of publications and I am steadily creating a valuable network for future opportunity.

That’s about it for the Mains household. See you next time with the news of a diva baby girl!

Missed the last newsletter? Check it: Mains Family Newsletter (And News Of An Avocado)


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