Quick Tip: Toilet Meditations

“There is something about a bathroom that feels like a fortress. A closed bathroom door may only be about two inches of plywood, but it feels like an iron bar.”

Ursula Vernon

There’s nothing more restful than taking a seat in peace, and for men especially, we value the private solace of the bathroom. According to this random guy, the amount of time an average American spends pooping throughout a lifetime reaches almost 240 days. That’s a lot of time spent on the crapper.

Perched on a porcelain throne with the door locked and dump gates open, though, isn’t strictly business. Flicking through our smartphones is a normal activity to accompany (and delay) any logger’s release (just think: if that person only knew you were swiping through their Facebook photos while pooping…). I won’t go into how filthy that makes your electronic appendage, but I do think that we could utilize our 240 days of pooping more productively. Try feeding your soul while you unload your body. Try toilet meditations. Find a bathroom book.

Bathroom books are those little cheeky ones that your mom buys. You shouldn’t limit yourself to bargain bin potty humor though. Choose a book with rich thought–it could be full of quotes, or trivia, a crossword puzzle, or a devotional, or a meditation book. Leave the phone in your pocket or out of the sanctuary altogether. Maybe just relax, be present, and try focused breathing.

I’m as guilty as the next guy for using my phone in the bathroom and taking my sweet time. I don’t even remember what I did in the 90’s while I pooped (just doo-doo-dooing, smiling at the wallpaper?). Maybe I read a bathroom book. Who knows. But let’s commit to spending our 240 days on the pot more wisely. We really can live without our phones, and we can certainly poop without them. 


Know of a good book that could work for others? Share in a comment below!

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